Pretty vs. Hot

I came across this article, 'The death of pretty', that has recently raced its way through cyberspace.

Basically, it argues that teenage girls/women don't even aspire to be "pretty" (defined as attractive but not in a sexual way) anymore, they simply aspire to be "hot" (defined, of course, as being sexually attractive).  The author blames this trend on the media and laments the death of pretty, arguing that many men still prefer pretty over hot.

There are over 600 comments on the article, ranging from "amens" to "you've got to be kiddings" and every opinion in between.

The issues he addresses are complex.  Personally, I agree on principle with many of his points but find  his arguments to be overly simplistic.

Speaking of SIMPLISTIC, I wanted to share a quick experience that reading this article brought to mind.  Let me stress that this is FAR from an attempt to address the issue(s) comprehensively.

A boy came to our house to hang out with my daughter Kirsten over Christmas break.  They are both high school sophomores.  (According to Kirsten, he is simply a friend who is a boy,  not a boyfriend, but that's for another post.)  I met him, was friendly, asked some non-threatening questions, and most of all tried not to embarrass Kirsten.

A few weeks later, Kirsten said to me, "Hey Mom, Rick thinks you're hot."

I immediately felt disturbed and kinda weird.  Creeped out, almost.

I tried to disguise how I felt about the comment because I wanted to think about how and/or if I should address it.  Kirsten is astute, though.  Maybe the look on my face or my hemming and hawing gave it away.  Whatever it was, she understood my interpretation of Rick's comment and quickly said, "Mom, all he meant is that he thinks you're pretty."

In this particular case, the only difference between 'pretty' and 'hot' was one of semantics.

It might simply depend on the the year in which the guy was born as to which word he uses to describe a female he finds attractive.

Simplistic, I realize, but interesting nonetheless.

Speaking of semantics:
“All our work, our whole life is a matter of semantics, because words are the tools with which we work, the material out of which laws are made, out of which the Constitution was written. Everything depends on our understanding of them.” 
― Felix Frankfurter

In my case, everything (well, a lot of things) depends on my understanding my teenagers.  Here's to me figuring out what they truly mean to communicate, even if the words they use seem contradictory or confusing.