I braced myself for the inevitable resistance when announcing new chore assignments.
"Rob, you have the family room."
He perked up, seemed excited. Surely I was mistaken.
"Does that include vacuuming?"
"Naturally."
"Mom, did you know that vacuums are one of the best ways ever invented to spread dust mite fecal pellets? It's true!" He proceeded to show me the Seriously Gross section of his library book - I read every word and looked at every magnified picture. I was seriously grossed out, but swallowed hard and replied,
"If you can figure out how to clean the carpet without a vacuum, be my guest. But the carpet still needs cleaning."
Impeccable as his timing was in dropping the fecal pellet bomb, it just didn't work. Poor kid.
Now every time the vacuum turns on, I find myself wanting to step outside to avoid walking around in clouds of dust mite fecal pellets. Never mind that I've been doing this my whole life - the knowing is the problem.
Understanding definitively that ignorance truly can be bliss, I am currently running a cost-benefit analysis of taking my children to the library.
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