Development and Deterioration

I have detected an inverse relationship in my children between (1) physical growth and (2) ability to express feelings and emotions.  Number One develops at about the same rate as Number Two deteriorates. Cases in point:

Caleb (just barely four) loves and trusts everyone.  We always know exactly what he's thinking and feeling.  He hugs and kisses everyone.    He shouts "I love you!" several times daily.

Emma (almost seven) loves everyone and trusts most people. She shares most of her disappointments and triumphs.  Her hugs and kisses (given only to parents and Caleb) come straight from her heart, brimming to overflowing with deep, heart-felt emotions.    She confidently declares her love at bedtime every night.

Seth (eight and three-quarters) likes most people and basically trusts his family and friends.  Victorious and happy moments are broadcasted far and wide, disappointments kept inside.  Publicly, he outright rejects hugs and kisses.  He will accept no more than one kiss from his mother at bedtime and states his love only if a bribe has been offered.

Rob (twelve) likes a few people and trusts his parents.  We rarely have any idea what he's thinking - except in regards to piano and cracked wheat cereal, both of which he despises beyond comprehension.  Hugs and kisses - public or private - are akin to torture.  On rare occasion, after intense coercion and manipulation, he will mumble a few syllables that vaguely resemble "I love you."

Kirsten (just barely fourteen) likes hundreds of people and trusts most of them - with the exception of a few teachers and even her parents at times.  She emanates the highest levels of excitement when happy, the deepest of voids when upset.  Many secrets, most of which we are not privy to, are harbored and protected in her heart.  Her need to maintain an aloof attitude prevents frequent displays of familial affection, but when she does proclaim her love, it's pretty darn special - as long as her proclamation isn't immediately followed by an outlandish request of some sort or another.

In the midst of all these extremes, I do my level best to remain, well, level.  This seems a reasonable expectation until I'm confronted by monosyllabic grunts, ecstatic exclamations, downright screams, thinly veiled manipulation attempts - at which times remaining calm and loving seems pretty much out of reach.

But worth trying at least.  Because someday all of my children will have Developed sufficiently that their Abilities to Express Feelings and Emotions will stop Deteriorating and once again begin to Develop.  They will come full circle and be just like Caleb is right now.  That's the Ideal.

The Real is that perhaps, once they're married and have children of their own, they just might realize a few things, pick up the phone, and express a positive emotion or feeling of some sort.  In the meantime, I keep on keeping on.  And being level.  And loving.  Which, according to the Beatles at least, is all I need.