I was sitting across from my dad in a booth at Rosa’s Café about a month ago when he told me that his cancer (which had been eradicated a year ago) was back.
Dad then explained how devastated he had been at the
diagnosis until the message from Joseph B. Wirthlin’s talk “Come What May, and Love It” ran through his head repeatedly.
He decided to do exactly that – come what may and love it.
“I’m ready to go,” he stated. “I have no regrets.”
First off, he’s not going anywhere anytime soon (except to
the hospital for radiation and chemotherapy).
Secondly, I thought about living a life with no
regrets. What an inspiring legacy he
will leave (someday, but not too soon) for his posterity.
And third, how am I supposed to love that my dad has Stage 3
lung cancer and will be debilitated for several months (and that’s just what we
know so far)?
I don’t love it at all.
In fact, I hate it.
After feeling so very sad and crying through an entire box
of tissues, I thought and prayed and cried some more and begged the Lord to
help me not hate it.
Some understanding finally arrived through the lens of
motherhood. I absolutely positively love
my fabulous and wonderful children for whom I have given and continue to give practically
everything. But I certainly don’t always
like them. In fact, there are times when
I hate things that happen with or to them, hate some things they choose to say or do.
Nevertheless, I never stop loving them. It never even crosses my mind. It’s simply not an option. Come what may, I love my kids. There’s so much to love.
So here’s what I can love about my dad.
I love that he comes to as many of my kids’
sporting and extracurricular events as humanly possible.
I love that he calls them, one at a time, and takes them fishing or
shooting hoops or to lunch. I love that,
when I was out of town, I could call him to go to our house, dig in Emma’s
messy closet and find the Dribbling Hawks shirt she had forgotten to bring to
school for a picture, and deliver it to the school.
I love that he tells my kids stories about
their ancestors. I love that he talks
openly and frequently of his love for the Savior. I can appreciate all that my dad is and does and make the
most of time spent with him.
I don’t have to love his diagnosis. I even think it’s okay if I hate it.
But come what may, I can still love. There’s so much to love.
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| Rock Star Parents |
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| Kirsten's Basketball Banquet |
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| Grandpa and Emma |
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| Me, Dad, Mom & Rachelle on Memorial Day weekend |
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| Dan (who drove in from Arkansas) Dad, Mom & Rachelle (who flew in from San Francisco) on Memorial Day Weekend |
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| Jenn (from Houston), me & Deb (from OKC) with Dad for his 70th Birthday |
6 comments:
Tears again. I think your dad is awesome. Your parents live such a great life of love and service! May they Lord continue to comfort you all through this trying time. Hugs!
We love you all!! We'll pray for your dad and your entire family. Loved this post and your insights. Thanks!
I avoided reading this all day... It is so hard. Cancer sucks. It's OK to hate it. But there is so much to learn from it. And so much love you can give your parents. Love you!
We will be praying for his second recovery. I had colon cancer in 2000 stage 4 and beat it. I do think a very positive attitude helps. So tell him to keep his chin up and know that he is still needed here, and if the Lord will let him have some more time with grandkids, he will! Cancer does suck! I didn't know he had it before. WE will put his name in San Antonio Temple soon. I am in Georgia visiting grandkids now. Love YOU GUYS! Cathy Snow
Susie,my mom lived longer with multiple myeloma than any other person to that point -- 14 years. Her utter serenity, like your Dad's, based in her faith in the Savior, was surely the reason. She was 60 when she was diagnosed, and I remember her saying, "I think that this will be the most interesting, and perhaps the happiest, time of my life." She made it so, as your dad will -- and as my dear Ron is preparing to do as well.
I am so sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis, but, I love the positive attitude that he has about it. That will go a long way in his recovery. I took care of my dad for 7 months after his diagnosis of lung cancer. That was one of the hardest, and saddest, times in my life...but, one of the most wonderful times in my life! It's hard to explain how that time could be "wonderful", but that's when I really got to know my dad's "heart." It's been nearly 20 yrs. ago, but I'll never forget the talks that we had, and how much I learned about him as a person...not just as my dad. He gave his life to the Lord, during this time, and that was the greatest thing that came from his illness! I will be praying for your dad's complete recovery! My thoughts and prayers are with you, and all of your family. Much love!
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