Notable conversations of late

With a Verizon Salesman at our door:
"Good evening, Ma'am!  I see that you already have our internet service.  Is there a reason that you haven't signed up for TV through us?  Do you have another provider?"
Full disclosure:  we have Netflix & a Vudu box, so it's not like we never watch . . . but I didn't go into those details.  I simply said, "Actually, we don't have any other provider.  I just don't want our kids spending too much time in front of the TV, so we decided not to have it at all."
Looking directly into my eyes, he replied, "I couldn't agree with you more!"
Awkward pause.
"Well, if you should ever decide to add any services," he rallied, "you should definitely choose us.  We can save you a bundle!"


Texting with Rob (14, a kid of few words, currently at EFY - a church camp for teenagers - in San Antonio):
Me:  Hope you're having a great time there -- we miss you!  Love, Mom
Rob:  Things here r stellar.


With Seth (11, being a brat - for lack of a more fitting word - to his sister):
Me:  Come on, buddy, take the high road!
Seth:  I'm afraid of heights, Mom.


With Emma (9, somewhat passive-aggressive, who knows that I went on an anti-migraine diet to see if that would help my headaches and who also knows that I vowed to stay off sugar even after the official two-week diet ended):
Emma (watching me eating a few Sun Chips):  Mom, do you not have to be very healthy anymore?
Me: ummmmmmm, well, uh.........
Emma:  Because I saw you eating a few cookies yesterday and I was surprised because I thought you weren't going to eat any sugar or other unhealthy foods.
Me (popping a handful of grapes in my mouth):  You're right, I wasn't.  Thanks for reminding me, sweetie.


Between Caleb (6) and my sister Rachelle:
Rachelle (to Seth, again acting like a punk - yes, there is a pattern here):  I'm going to slap that silly right off your face, boy!
Caleb (jumping up and down):  Do it, Aunt Rachelle!  Do it!  DO IT!