Over-the-Top Vegas Getaway

Jeff has a conference every year in Vegas.  In honor of our 19th anniversary (which was in August but definitely better late than never), I tagged along this year.

His company pays for the room at the Palazzo, a 5-diamond hotel/casino, and they pay for his food (he constantly reminded me that we were only technically paying half for our meals, as I never stopped balking at having to pay no less than $20 for a simple lunch for one person and no less than $50 for a dinner for one person).

I haven’t been to Vegas in years  -- my primary experiences with Vegas were in college, when we would stop en route between Provo and San Diego to eat at inexpensive buffets. 

After spending a weekend there, I will summarize Vegas in three simple words:

Over.

The.

Top.

In every way.

I’m not complaining.  By any means.

We saw two fabulous shows (Cirque du Soleil “La Reve” and Terry Fator -- hilarious and amazingly talented), ate to-die-for food, I spent lots of time lounging beside the nicest pool I have ever been to (and treated as if I were spending loads of money to be there, which all the people around me were – I kept watching them, wondering how they could seriously afford this) and I thoroughly enjoyed staying in a 5-diamond suite.  

I sorely needed a break, and I so appreciated having it – with my sweetheart, no less.

But on the flip side . . .

When night falls in Vegas, the females remove half of their clothes and put on stilettos.  About 5% of them can get away with this.  The rest – ugh – seriously?  I would have definitely been in the running (along with several octogenarians) to win the “female with the least skin exposed” contest.  

And speaking of contests, the younger guys seem to be in a “crassiest t-shirt” contest and the older men seem to be in a “hottest trophy wife/girlfriend” contest.

Plus, everyone is drinking.

Plus, everyone is gambling.

Plus, the streets are lined with porn.  And I mean this literally.

On the last day there, Jeff & I shared an elevator with a couple in their 80’s.  Having overhead an earlier conversation between them and their twenty-something grandson wherein the grandfather explained the taxes (20%, it turns out) that are extracted from gambling earnings, we knew that they were long-time gamblers.  We even found out that he had once won $8,000, but didn’t have to pay taxes because he “knew someone” at the casino.

Anyway, he was a friendly guy, and asked us what brought us to Vegas.  We briefly explained, adding that it was a good chance to “get a break from the kids.”

In all sincerity, he said, “You should have brought them along!”

We smiled.

With all due respect to the venerable gentleman, I won’t be bringing my kids to Vegas any time soon.

But to be clear -- I am ever-so-grateful for our anniversary getaway.  Thanks, honey!